A Neon Sign Was Flashin’ “Welcome, Come On In”

So after my sister introduced me to Robert Earl Keen in general, and the song “Feelin’ Good Again” in particular, I’ve inadvertently adopted it as a theme/fight/motivational type song as I move from summer to fall, and as I get used to being truly single again after over 4 years of serious, long-term relationships.  This shift has been accompanied by much travel, many friends, and lots and lots of beer.  Here’s what I’ve been up to:

First, I already posted briefly about this, but wanted to throw in these three pictures that I hadn’t yet posted from my trip to Naperville, because I laugh every time I see them, and this post is about feeling good.  First, Tony and I looking utterly awesome:

Here is a better one of Tony, Tianna and I:

And finally, singing “Livin’ on a Prayer,” which we always replace with the words, “Livin’ in Eau Claire:”

So much fun. Love those guys!

At the end of September, my friend Tony turned twenty-seven, and we all got together for his “Tony-Seven” birthday party!  I came up to Milwaukee on a Friday night, and he picked me up at the train station, driving us immediately to the Wicked Hop, one of my favorite Milwaukee bars.  We ordered some appetizers (and beer) and were soon joined by a Rowe and two LaBau’s.  Here is a picture of my sentiments regarding the Wicked Hop:

After drinks, Tony went home and the Pewaukee crowd and I grabbed Scoot from the train station and headed back to chez Rowe-Bau for some more beers, Cranium (minus the clay), and straight-up win, lose, or draw combined with charades.  It was crazy, but super fun!  I was on FIRE for awhile guessing Scoot’s “act but don’t speak” cards.

The next day, we went to Tony’s, got on a shuttle, and headed out to tailgate for THREE HOURS before the Brewer game.  Here is Aaron and I, looking extraordinarily weird:

There was a keg of Sprecher, and some guy had made this lethal “apple pie” concoction that was cider and, we’re told, everclear.  :-/ Totally, totally yummy!

Here is Tony and I inside Miller Park:

And then a much better picture of me, Tony, and Tianna:

After the game, we went back to Zim’s, where Tony had set up free beer and half-price appetizers.  A friend from high school who we hadn’t seen in ages stopped by, and it was great to catch up with him, and hang out with Tony and all the Tony-Seven friends.  A great time was had by all, I think I can safely say!

A couple of weekends later, I went home to Durand to hang out with my parents.  I was supposed to fly out at 6:25 p.m. from Midway on that Thursday night, but when I got to the airport, the flight was delayed until 10:45 p.m…. wow.  There was something going on with the runways in Minneapolis, and something with the weather.  I got to Midway at about 5:30 p.m., and the 2 p.m. Midway-MSP flight still hadn’t left, so everything was pushed back.  I eventually got out at about 11:30 p.m., and landed in MSP close to 1 a.m…. My amazing parents were there waiting and we headed back to Durand.

After sleeping quite late on Friday, I visited my grandma, ate my weight in some poppyroll, and then played one of many games of Scrabble with my mom.  I did not win this game, and note the coffee keeping me awake at about 1 p.m.:

Friday night was Lima church’s amazing fish fry, and a visit with my other grandparents.  Saturday, mom and I went to Eau Claire to get some warm winter clothes (for me), and a purse (for her… shockingly).  We came back to Durand for church, Alex’s Pizza (yum!) and The Time Traveler’s Wife at the theater with maybe four other people.  Love the theater in Durand, but that isn’t a hugely uplifting movie….

Sunday was more bumming around, then the yummiest meatloaf and potatoes lunch, before I headed back to the airport for my 5:30 flight.  It was only about 20 minutes late, so that worked out well, and I was home about 1 hour after landing at Midway.  Wonderful, wonderful weekend.  There’s just something so calming and relaxing about being at home:

This deer apparently finds my parents’ house to be very calming… obviously she is not at all fearful:

My awesome backyard:

My sister and I went to Hopleaf for the first time in ages, and enjoyed some Kwak:

This last weekend was Big Mike’s wedding in Joliet.  I got in on Friday night to hang out with the Dolls, who had come up for St. Louis.  We had some drinks in the hotel:

Then we went to this restaurant where they have 96-oz bongs of beer that you can share at your table:

There were more sink drinks after this, along with goldfish crackers, card games, and a “does beer complement chocolate at all?” experiment.  Tried to get to bed early, since we had a long day ahead of us on Saturday.

The wedding was at noon, and we made it there with barely five minutes to spare.  After the bride and groom grinned their way out of the church, we had four hours to kill before the cocktail hour began at 5 p.m…. a cocktail hour that would feature a full open bar, with anything we wanted, top shelf on down.  Yikes….  We tried to rein it in, but ended up at the hotel bar and having a couple of additional sink beers.  The reception was beautiful and the food was AMAZING… the best filet with goat cheese on top, cooked medium… a steak so good it made me forgo the chicken and brie that was also served.  I passed up something with brie involved.  Wow.  There was also soup, salad, twice baked potatoes, asparagus, sorbet, and of course wedding cake.  Not to mention as many bottles of both red and white wine that our table wanted, and a champagne toast.  Again, wow.

One of my friends described that night, and the whole weekend, as being “good for the soul,” and I agree wholeheartedly.  Fences were mended between quite a few people, and I had a chance to remember who I was before I became part of “Tim and Lori” or “Matt and Lori”…

Don’t get me wrong – there are still moments when I wake up and wonder what in the world happened and how I ended up here.  But without a doubt, I would rather deal with the irritating parts of being single over being made to feel completely unimportant and dispensable any day.  I’m not dispensable. I am the girl who can laugh (really loudly) at herself, the girl whose laugh people look forward to and feel great about causing, the girl who is optimistic almost to the point of stupidity, who sees the best in everyone, who is forgiving and loving and warm along with snarky and impatient and sarcastic.  I am the girl who knows that nothing that has happened in the past needs to have any effect whatsoever on the future…

I am the girl that people are excited to see walk into the room because the night is about to get more fun, and the girl that has re-realized that all of this IS real life… not some prelude to the time when I meet prince charming and get whisked off into marriage-and-family land, which is what so much of society tries to convince us.  And to remember that I would 100% without-a-fricking-doubt rather have “nobody” than just anybody.

It’s fun to remember that stuff about myself after feeling guilty, insignificant, and like I could never EVER measure up to what was expected of me for the last four years.  It’s crazy what I can convince myself of if I really try.  And it’s really reassuring to realize that I can bounce back, just like always, and that I don’t have “nobody.”  All the amazing people (some pictured above, lots not) are my support system, my family, and the reason that any loneliness I may feel from time to time is fleeting compared to the amazing life I’ve created for myself.  That loneliness and those “poor single me” moments are the dispensable and insignificant stuff… not me.

I Am Probably One of Very Few People…

… for whom Union Station and Amtrak are emotional landmines. Literally four years later, and I still get this weird sensation whenever I’m in an Amtrak station, on a train, especially heading between Milkwaukee and Chicago. Ugh. It’s anticipation crossed with despair, with a twinge of something that, if emotions had sound, would be a little like Gordon Lightfoot’s voice.

On my way to the good land for a weekend of Rowes, LaBaus, and one very special birthday boy! Brewers, booze, bars, and (of course) Cousins Subs. So excited to be going to the place that increasingly feels like home, to hang out with some of my favorite people in the world.

Something About Me…

…invites communication – both questions and confidences.

I just went to get food from my local Chinese joint, which I keep going back to because of their amahzing combination fried rice… and where they know me because I always order it “without onions or green onions.”  The motherly woman who works at the counter and always takes my orders asked me today what I did to my fingers.  When I explained to her that it was my own fault, and that I bite my fingers when I get nervous, she divulged that one of her daughters kept a teddy bear until it was so dirty that her step-daughter threw it away and told the girl, “your teddy has cancer.”  !?

She did tell me that I should just “BE CALM” and stop biting my fingers.  That’s one thing I really like about living in a big city… the total anonymity… with bursts of kindness from relative strangers with whom my life randomly intersects.  And, of course, the random confessions these strangers confer, and personal questions that they ask in order to get to know me (strange, unique, completely inconsequential me) for whatever little time we spend together.

If I Could, I Would Let it Go

The weirdest thing happened on the bus just now. CLF sent me a transcript of Bono’s spoken intro to the song “Bad” fom the 5.7.05 show I went to. I glanced at it last night, and then was on the bus today and wanted to really read it thoroughly. As I was scrolling through my gmails looking for it, what song should pop up on shuffle on my iPod?! “Bad,” of course!

This is made even weirder by the fact that I currently have maybe 5 U2 songs on my iPod. Out of 2000… Crazy huh?

Anyway, here is the intro…
“I hope that whatever it is that has you by the throat, has you by the tail, has you by the balls…whatever it is, I hope you’re free of it soon.  So [this song is] for anybody who wants to get the monkey off your back.”

I dont break easy, I have my pride

Things that are making me happy right now:

1. Gossip Girl season premiere

2.

And all these memories come rushing like feral waves to your mind….

U2 was last night. It:

* was a really good show.

* was hard to take at some points.

* was worth going, in the long run.

And finally:
* is over.

More details later, maybe.

His Wife, She Stayed For a Couple of Days

Hard night.  U2 is playing south of here at Soldier Field, and I’m not there.  Even a month ago, you could have told me that and I wouldn’t have believed it.  But here I am.  Glum.

I know it’ll get better, and that one day I’m going to look back at this like I looked back at the time(s) Larry and I called it quits; right after I broke up with Ryan, Sept. 10, 2001, and the craziness the next day; the debacle with Simon, 2002.  I guess the problem is that I never had this sense of kismet before, like this was meant to be.  It’s losing not only a person, but a whole future that was ‘destined’ to happen.

le sigh.

A little bit early, but perfectly what I feel:

“October
And the trees are stripped bare
Of all they wear
What do I care

October
And kingdoms rise
And kingdoms fall
But you go on”
-U2

Friday Laugh

From one of my friends yesterday – how America sees the world:

Lolz!

Bullets & Pictures

• The first weekend in August was Lollapalooza, which Tessa took me to last year, and which ended up being a TON of fun.  This year, I bought her a ticket for her birthday, and the person who introduced her to the festival (who lives in Seattle) was able to come as well.  My friend Tony came down from Milwaukee, and we met up with another couple we knew there several times as well.
• The first day, Friday, was super super rainy, and we spent most of the time in ponchos… like at Ben Folds.  Also on Friday, we saw the White Lies, part of Crystal Castles, Peter Bjorn & John, and… I think that might be it.

• Just before the headliner I saw, Depeche Mode, the ponchos became unnecessary.  A view of the city from that show:

• Here is Tony and I on the next day – Sunny Saturday!  We saw lots of good stuff: Miike Snow, part of Los Campesinos, Arctic Monkeys, TV on the Radio, Ben Harper, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.  We got pizza at Edwardo’s afterward and it was so.delicious!

• Moving on to Sunday, we started out at Cage the Elephant, then saw part of the Airborne Toxic Event, Vampire Weekend, Snoop Dog, and the Killers.  The pictures below are Tony and I badass at Snoop, and then the skyline during Killers…

• Insert a rather rough week – suffice it to say that I no longer have any Pants.  Part of my feel-good package from the sister:

• This last weekend, my feel-good-and-get-the-hell-out-of-Chicago package from the Rowe-jo and Tony included a trip up to Naperville to hang out with Andrea’s BF, then up to Milwaukee on Saturday for a cooking demo at Whole Foods with Tony and Tianna… then lunch outside at Hooligan’s before a loooong nap and heading out to Cafe Hollander.  Picures below are at a bar in Naperville, and Cafe Hollander respectively.

• Cafe Hollander also does an amazing brunch, so Tony and I went back the next day.  That’s Tony’s mimosa and my coffee….mmm… It was brisk, fall-like weather, and I was absolutely in love with both the company and the location.  Milwaukee.  My bestie.

• Nothing on tap this weekend – maybe a bit of relaxing before heading to the STL for Labor Day weekend!  Woo!  September is going to be pretty busy, and I’m so so so excited for fall!  Definitely going to carve a pumpkin this year!

Swamped

I have been absent here, absent/slow on e-mail, and absent in real life these last few weeks…. with Procreating Coworker out on maternity leave, we are drastically short-staffed and I am doing tons of administrative/clerical work.  We keep finding things that were supposed to be done that weren’t, and things there were done incorrectly, and items that went out with mistakes and typos… sigh.  This might be good for us to clean up on processes and everything, and it’s really bringing some previously-unnoticed inadequacies to my boss’ attention.

For example, before she went on leave, Procreating Coworker was told by our boss to make up about 50-75 new hire packets so when sites requested them, I could just grab 10 or so and throw them in the mail.  We got our first request yesterday and… we were shocked (:-o) to find that there were… wait for it… ZERO new hire packets made up ahead. This is just one of many examples.  Sigh.

My boss has also decided that in order to get a huge project done (which was given to Procreating Coworker for completion in MARCH and has seen no movement), when PC gets back, we won’t give her back her duties… rather, we’ll keep doing her job while she ONLY works on this project, which will likely take her through February of next year, even if this is the only thing PC is working on.  I guess I would rather do her other jobs than input 600+ personnel files into a database, but with the budget crisis and the not-for-profit thing, not only am I not getting a temp increase for doing two jobs, but no one is getting any raise whatsoever in FY2010 as of now.  Fantastic.

Perhaps you can tell, I am disillusioned with work at the moment.

This last weekend was our annual camping weekend in the Wisconsin Dells.  I, given everything you’ve read above, was SUPER excited about getting away for five whole days.  I didn’t work Thursday, took the Amtrak up to the Dells (easy peasy!), where dad picked me up, and then proceeded to spend four blissful days with family in the quiet and greenness of Wisconsin.  Here are some pictures I took with my iPhone.  Did I mention I got an iPhone?  No?  Well, I did – from my parents for my birthday – and I am SO SO SO excited to have a phone that not only actually WORKS, but is pretty effing sweet in many other ways.  Not the least of which is the camera, and the ease with which I can e-mail pictures I’ve taken.  Behold:

On my way to Union Station:

Passing by Milwaukee, part of the Marquette Interchange:

Rural Wisconsin from the train:

Rose and Keely at the campground:

Campfire!!

My feet after the first night’s mosquito attack.  Let the record show that I am not a proponent of using Listerine as bug spray.

Here is me, showing my patriotic spirit during a rare indoor moment; we got rained out in the middle of a word game called Quiddler, which is a WAY FUN game:

Finally – Mom, Rose, and Keely at the bowling alley… the only one that is slightly blurry:

Tonight I’m going to a wedding in the south suburbs, and I booked a Zipcar for the trip, so am pretty excited not to have a two-hour public transit trip when the car ride will take about 45 minutes… sometimes a car just is worth the expense.  Tomorrow I’m going to see Harry Potter at the IMAX theater on Navy Pier with Danielle and one of the girls that was in her wedding who I really like…. pretty excited, since it’s Harry Potter, in IMAX, and parts of it are in 3-D, I think.  Woo!

Finally, I know people are bemoaning the fact that the weather has been unseasonably cool, but I totally dig it.

That’s about it from me.  Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!